


Delivery

by orphan_account



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Human Bill Cipher, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pizza, its a pizza delivery au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-03 09:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5285903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper Pines is an ordinary delivery boy for a pizza company. Bill Cipher is a human in really bad condition. It doesn't take much for Dipper to want to help this stranger.</p><p>(This is also an alternate universe where Bill Cipher has never appeared until now please keep this in mind)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

This was just dandy. Dipper Pines stood by the pump of a nearby gas station idly watching the numbers shoot up with only half a mind to stop at the amount of money he owned in order to pay. Summer heat and the Oregon humidity hung in the air in a thick coat which made wearing his outfit from work even worse to wear; itchy, irritating, it’s the exact opposite of what he should be wearing in the sweltering heat of the night. Dipper placed the pump’s nozzle back into it’s holder and re-entered his car letting out a sigh of exhaustion.

Once in the car he could practically feel the grease and cheese coming from the boxes piled on every available seat in the car; whoever decided to order twenty pizzas was either throwing a party or down right crazy. What he wouldn’t give to just go back to the Mystery Shack and take a nap or find something to do with Mabel. His sister happily handed off the job to him at his expense knowing very well that the delivery car needed gas. But who would really blame the girl when only her and one other person had to prepare so many pizzas in so little time. She most likely broke a record for fastest making of twenty pizzas.

With this grueling task at hand the teen was lost in his mind trying to think of ways he could easily transport the food while he pulled out of the gas station and onto the pitch black road ahead. A long stretch of nothing but an open field to his left and forest on his right was all the scenery had to offer before he would get to the neighborhood of houses where his delivery was to be made. Dipper could feel the effects of sleep starting to take hold of his body and he slowly began to drift from his lane. The darkness seemed so inviting after a long day of work, if only he could just get this over with.

The only thing keeping him going was the quiet hum of the radio which he quickly cranked up the volume of on his first close call with falling asleep at the wheel. A song which shared with him the story of a drunkard and his journey on becoming sober; it wasn’t very interesting and frankly didn’t wake him up at all so he continued to flip through stations. A pop song about a girl and fame, rap song about having everything and losing it all, man there really wasn’t anything good on was there? As he leaned back from the dials a rush of brown fur hopped onto the road and the boy’s heart sank.

“Jesus-!” Dipper hissed and the sharp screech of wheels pierced the night with the quick turn to avoid the animal. The car had stopped in the middle of the road while Dipper fought to catch his breath after that close run in. A deer, it must have been a deer. He could see it’s dark form lingering on the other side of the road staring at the car daring it to advance.

There was a brief moment where Dipper exchanged glances between him and animal. While the deer looked on with innocence and a slightly disjointed jaw, he gave it a look of annoyance. “What do you want?” Dipper hissed, breaking eye contact as he started the car onto the road again. The deer never stopped looking, it’s whole body poised to signal a warning of danger. Never had he seen an animal do something like that, standing there so ominously. Dipper did not think much of it; strange things like that happen in Gravity Falls you just have to be in the right place at the right time, and this just happened to be that time.

The deer’s appearance had certainly made him much more aware and focused. The occurrence was a ways before he began to see the quaint houses on the outskirts of the town and by now he was almost grateful of the run in. His phone’s navigation spoke up directing him around the turns and all the while he surveyed the soft glow of the streetlights that lit up the beauty of the night he would normally dismiss.

“Your destination is on the right.” The feminine voice alerted which brought Dipper to stop his vehicle. All the houses were so nice looking, built with mostly bricks or other neatly patterned materials; however, when he turned his head to look at his customer’s house he was shocked. Whereas most of the houses had neatly trimmed hedges and freshly mowed grass this house was nearing being overgrown. It seemed smaller than the rest and had a certain slouch to it that one would not expect from a house in a neighborhood so serene and gorgeous.

“Yikes.” Dipper breathed, opening his car door without losing his sights on the depressing house. As he rounded the car he checked the time and winced. That deer had slowed him quite a bit seeing as the time read 11:28; he was way over his shift’s end time. The teen shook his head and sent a quick message to his sister requesting she close up and go without him if she already hasn’t.

He directed his attention to the several pizzas in the back and Dipper took a deep breath to calm himself. It was a bit hard to gather the first set of pizzas but he managed to at least pile on 8 without feeling like his arms would break off. Glancing around his tower of food he examined the short trail ahead to the door before taking a few steps forward that echoed between the buildings. The front of the house look like it had been rushed to be decorated several years in the past, there was an old dusty welcome mat that had not shared it’s greetings for a long time, dead plants hung solemnly from the front porch cover, a lone bench swing sat motionless, and a rabbit statue with the face kicked in stood beside the front step. He did not move as he studied the eerie scene in the dim light given off by the flickering streetlight closest to the house.

Dipper gave a few knocks to the oak door. The noise echoing sadly throughout the foundation of the structure and suddenly he realized how alone and quiet his surroundings were. The very essence this place gave off was enough to make him want to run back to his car and leave the depressing scene.

Minutes passed and he checked the time again, noting Mabel responded “way ahead of you bro bro ;P <3” to his request. The time marched on mercilessly, by now it seemed like he had been pranked. Of course something like this would have happened. He should have figured as soon as he arrived that he had been tricked to coming to an old, abandoned house; gosh he was so stupid.

“Hello?” A feeble voice called which sent a jolt of startlement through Dipper’s body. He studied the now cracked door held close by a chain lock. Underneath the gleaming silver of the chain was a tired eye focused on the ground beside him. Dipper blinked and followed the empty gaze to a fallen pizza box with grease, sauce, and the rest of the ingredients that made up the Hawaiian pizza that now joined the cracked concrete.

“...” It took him a moment to realize that he had been the one to drop the box and a fierce chill took hold of him. “S-sorry about that! I can pay you back for that pizza sir or miss er…” Who was this person? It made him incredibly nervous as they wouldn’t even step outside their door, it would be difficult transporting all twenty- nineteen, nineteen pizzas through the small opening the owner of the house was giving him. While he stuttered out a mess of apologies the door closed briefly then reopened, free of the chain lock that held it back.

Before him stood the most ill looking person he had ever seen. They were completely enveloped by an ashen gray blanket and from what he could see it looked as if the man hadn’t slept, eaten, or even stepped foot out of his house for a week. While he was always taught not to stare it was so hard considering the concerning condition his customer was in.

“Ah yes, you can just bring the pizzas in. I hope the other nineteen are still intact?” The customer rasped, never lifting his eyes off of the floor but they seemed to have unfocused from his mistake.

“Huh? Oh yeah they’re still fine I made sure of that. All of them are in mint condition,” Dipper weakly chuckled before adding, “Of course none of them have mint just so you know.” The stranger was not fazed by the joke rather he stepped out of the way as Dipper entered very awkwardly.

Surprisingly, the inside of the house did not fit the person he had just met; while it was just as dark as he was expecting, everything was neat and tidy like it was cleaned often. He noted the polished wooden floors and several antiques from possibly centuries ago. The kitchen was no different from the living room, everything seemed to have a place and it almost made him nervous to put the pizzas down as they would have no place among the carefully situated arrangement. He settled on the counters that had a noticeable open space which was probably for the pizzas. Turning to the entrance of the room he saw his customer enter the kitchen with that far off look he held. “Ah so uh… you planning on throwing a party?” Dipper tried to stir up conversation.

“Not really, no.” Was the blunt response.

That brought a small frown to Dipper’s face but he said nothing more. Seeing as the conversation wouldn’t progress far from here Dipper instead made his rounds between the kitchen and the car to collect all nineteen pizzas in one place. Dipper stole a glance at the customer sitting at a kitchen table in the corner. There was no interaction shared between the two only silence that clung to the air and dared either one to speak. Dipper noticed every movement the other made, every slow blink of his long eyelashes and every small movement his feet made against the ceramic tile. His hair shone a light blonde that held a dull spark of life despite being greasy by what he could assume was days of neglect and even his pale skin seemed to hint he used to have a golden tan. “Do you need something?” The other finally spoke up. Dipper looked up at the man’s eyes that now locked onto his, the honey brown irises almost seemed to yield a yellow look to them, the teen felt captured by the only warm, healthy part of this man.

Dipper fought to think of something to say, his first thoughts drifted to the pizzas. “You know, if you’re stockpiling on pizzas they’re a lot better fresh. My sister and I tried to store a bunch of these before-”

“They aren’t for storing.” Came the raspy voice once again.

“O-oh,” Dipper breathed, a feeling of hopelessness consuming him. “So you’re just going to eat all of these. By yourself.” He certainly had the body for it from what he could tell.

“None of that is your business now is it kid?” The eyes continued to stare, unblinking.

“Well no not exactly but I’m just a bit worried about you right now, sir.” Dipper admitted with a slight tilt of curiosity to his head.

This strange man did not continue on. He merely stood up and slowly went to the door. Dipper expected he was done with him.

“Are you going to leave or are you going to pester me with your presence longer?” Said the man in a voice that had a stronger feel to it than his rasping sentences.

“I’d rather you tell me why you’re in the condition you’re in. I know it’s not my business but-”

“You’re damn right it’s not your business.” Dipper was taken aback by the harsh sting of words. Could this guy be any more rude?

“I’m sorry that I actually care about you, you look like you haven’t done anything for the past month and you just happen to order twenty pizzas in one order? I’m already past my shift so why can’t you just tell me what’s wrong?”

A choked sob interrupted Dipper’s words and the teen’s eyes widened. The man holding the door open had streaks of tears consistently falling down his cheeks. All of a sudden he seemed like a scared child rather than an adult as his body leaned against the wall and slowly slid down. In the dim light from outside Dipper could barely make out the huddled form before him hiding underneath the blanket as if it would make the world around him disappear. His whole body shook with sharp breaths and quiet cries of agony sounded from underneath the fabric that did nothing to muffle the noises.

They definitely did not teach him how to deal with this in training.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being patient, here's the next chapter of Delivery! I'll try to do weekly updates every Sunday on this. Enjoy!  
> -Kam

Why wouldn’t this kid just go away? Why couldn’t he just live in this stupid, vulnerable body like a good human? It felt wrong to be stuck in a body filled with so much... emotion. Here Bill sat hiding away from the world as if that would make it all better and this person was standing here trying to get into his business.

“H-hey there’s no need to cry.” Tried the voice from outside his safety bubble of warm fabric. The words sent another painful jolt of sadness through him. God it hurt so bad, his heart was clenched tightly in his chest and the tears hurt more than they ever did before.

There was a movement from outside his immediate area but he dared not peek to see what the other was doing. As far as he knew this stranger could be ending him and he would gladly accept death with open arms.

There were several minutes where Bill was consumed in silence save for his choking sobs muffled by the warmth around him. If it had been any longer he would have assumed he was abandoned in the summer humidity intruding from the front door. “Would you like some pizza?” the soft voice returned prompting him to come out.  
He lowered the blanket just barely to catch sight of the half of the other’s face softly illuminated by the light flooding in from the doorway. He could clearly see the delivery boy’s warm brown eyes and welcoming smile that gave him the look of someone approaching a scared animal in order to calm it.

As soon as Bill had tentatively taken the slice of cheese pizza Dipper closed his eyes with a sigh of relief. “My name is Dipper, Dipper Pines. What’s yours?”

“Does it matter?” The other croaked, nibbling on the greasy slice

Dipper pondered silently and nodded.

“Bill.”

“Bill?”

“Bill.” The blonde huffed. This Dipper person sure was keen on making him feel better. What a waste. The pizza was a bit hard to swallow as the tightness around his neck from his breakdown refused to lessen its pressure. “Well Dipper, you’ve done your delivery now it’s probably best you leave me be. I have pizzas to be eaten.”

“You never really told me why you ordered so many pizzas.” Dipper said.

“You never asked.”

Dipper’s eyebrows furrowed and he watched the blonde slowly collect himself and stand up on shaking legs. He had a valid point. “Why did you order so many pizzas?”

Bill lay against the wall, head tilted to the side while he pondered his answer.

“It’s because I like to try different types of human food. Pizza makes me feel better. Funny how it’s the disgusting morsels that make one feel the best.”

This seemed sufficient information for the human; either that or he was growing uncomfortable in his depressing presence. It was quite obvious from Dipper’s shuffling in place but his little grin didn't falter even once. The delivery boy would love to get to the bottom of this however his family would start to worry soon if he was not quick. “Your total will be $266.47 then.” The teen murmured, checking the receipt to make sure he was getting that right.

Another hushed quiet seemed to grow between the two like ice over the muggy heat.

Bill needed money for such gross food? They wanted him to pay for the greasy slabs of cheese and tomato? “Why do I have to pay so much for “junk” food? It is literally in the name it shouldn’t cost more than the trash in dumpsters!” Bill’s voice cracked at the end of the sentence which sent a sputtering cough from his throat. Now he finally realized how badly he needed the life sustaining liquid carbon based creatures needed to survive. Curse this weak body. “Why don’t you… stay with me for a bit and uh eat pizza? We could watch the TV too or something…” Yes Cipher that’s it, humans are easy to distract. Perhaps you can lead his train of thought from the expenses you owe. You’re a brilliant mind Cipher.

“What?” Dipper gave Bill a perplexed look at the sudden offer. First the other is trying to be rid of him and then he wants to watch TV and eat pizza as if it was some normal run in with a friend. “I mean I guess if it makes you happy I can stay a little bit longer.” The buzz in his pocket told him otherwise most likely the owner of the message he just recieved was a worried Mabel but he could explain later. This was a life that needed to be saved.

Bill’s eyes were locked on Dipper’s face; he studied the soft features of his skin and those warm, brown eyes. This boy was putty in his hands and it didn’t even take some heavy manipulation. The blonde looked at the half eaten pizza in his hands and as he passed Dipper on the way to the kitchen he shoved the piece in the boy’s hands earning a satisfying yelp from him. Dipper couldn’t get close to him, not after what happened. The last thing he needed was some petty human getting involved with his business. “Go ahead and sit on the couch. I’ll get us a pizza and we can start watching your mindless human entertainment.”

This man talked funny. It was the only thing that came to Dipper’s mind and it was kind of cute. He was like a child… but why in the world would someone as clueless about the world be a man in the first place. He’s been friends with men who acted like children before but they at least knew how to take care of themselves and didn’t call TV “mindless human entertainment”. Very strange indeed. Perhaps this was just his road to recovery. So many of these thoughts and more registered themselves in Dipper’s thoughts as he lay down on couch, back propped up against the arm of the chair for the other to sit with him. Bill had returned carrying a box of plain cheese pizza. “I hope this will suffice for you.” He said, laying it down gently on the coffee table. Dipper paid no mind to what Bill was doing until suddenly there was another body on top of him sending a jolt of shock through his whole body. “What-?” Dipper blinked only just now realizing it was the blonde that was on top of him, nuzzling his outfit with a deep sigh. “H-hey I uh-” what the hell is he supposed to say? “I-I’m not gay-” Dipper started only to be answered with a hoarse laugh. 

“Gay? Is that what you humans call it when you like someone with the same parts as you? Adorable. I would like to think the fleshy thing in your pants disagrees with you.”

“Wh- why would you say that..?”

Bill giggled against him and continued, “Your heart is so loud too. Are you sure you’re not about to have a heart attack?”

His heart was beating fast oh dear. This was not expected at all. All he wanted to do was sit down and maybe share a pizza and find out what was wrong with Bill not suddenly be thrown into the gayest experience of his life. “If you’re going to stay this close you better explain what is going on with you.”

Bill was silent and for a moment Dipper could have sworn he was asleep. His rhythmic breaths were slowed and from this angle all he could see was the other’s head against his chest. What he wouldn’t know was Bill was listening to the heart beat frantically beating and then slowing to a relaxed state. It was wonderous. Never had he been in such close contact with one of these remarkable yet oddly stupid beings that are humans. If he was in his godly form he could easily rip this fragile thing to pieces with a single swipe. He could pick apart each individual part of the body and study it, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to be enveloped in this warmth forever and never let go. It was... comforting. Would he react the same way with any other human being? Probably, but this was the human that stayed. This was the one that persisted and now this would be his punishment.

“Fine.” The soft voice surprised Dipper and he smiled widely.

“Go on then.” The brunette encouraged.

The hand against Dipper’s chest clenched onto the fabric at the words. “Don’t talk to me like that.”

“No Promises.” He teased back but fell silent for Bill to speak.

“It’s probably too complicated for your simple mind but I’ll try to keep it brief and simple. I used to have a uhm… relationship with someone higher up in the ranks. They were not very nice let me tell you kind of whiny and grumpy too. I may have pissed them off in the past and now I’ve been weakened by them. We used to be really close and everything…”

From there on Dipper ignored the rest of the story getting the gist mostly. So he had a relationship with a girl probably, it would explain why the outside of the house was so broken looking, perhaps she went on some kind of jealous rampage and took it out on things like that rabbit statue. Now that he examined the blonde closer he could see what looked like a burn mark and several bruises illuminated by the TV light. This poor person has really had it rough.

“Look you can get over this, I’ve been in a similar situation… sort of…” Wendy didn’t necessarily count since him and her couldn’t ever really work out romantically if he tried. They were better off as friends and he had learned that through the years. Perhaps Bill needed to have his “Wendy” experience too.

“Sure you have kid. Tell that to the police,”

“You got involved with the police?!”

“Technically speaking yes but not the kind of police you’re thinking of. Think of it more like uh… if your friend’s friends were to get upset over you I guess.”

“Did the person give you all of those marks too?” The most noticeable one was the burn mark all across the arm resting against his chest which Bill slowly brought under his gray blanket. “Yeah.”

Dipper’s grin dropped and he brought a hand up to rest on Bill’s hair, running his fingers through the dull, golden locks. “Do you work at all?”

“Nope, never have found the need.”

“So that’s why you’ve been trying to distract me from your payment.” Dipper snickered. This would definitely prove to be a problem though. How was someone who’s broke supposed to pay for this many pizzas.

A blush settled on Bill’s face and he covered his hot cheeks with the blanket. How was he found out so quickly? Damn this boy.

“Well perhaps you could come work with me at our pizza place or you could find some work at my Grunkle Stan’s place.”

“Neither of those sound pleasing to someone of such high status as myself.”

“You just cried over me asking you about pizza.”

“No I did not!” Bill’s gaze focused on Dipper’s but the brunette couldn’t hold back a bout of laughter at Bill’s pouting face. He was absolutely adorable!

And handsome. Dipper’s laughter was cut short as he realized he just thought that. Bill seemed to catch wind too as he felt the other’s heart skip a beat. “Dipper?” Bill asked, leaning closer to study his face.

He was so close. Too close. He was against him and so close. He was touching him.

“B-Bill!” Dipper squeaked.

“Yes that is my name. Are you feeling alright Dipper?”

Was he alright? Dipper's chest was swelling with emotion and his face felt like it was on fire suddenly what the hell was this awful feeling!

“Can we kiss?” Dipper’s mouth almost moved on it’s own before he could stop it from uttering such stupid words.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 1:30 AM that's technically Sunday.
> 
> My length of chapters is shortening due to finals so beware short chapter ahead. Finals for me ends friday so chapters after this should be more content rich.
> 
> Enjoy my lovelies. :)

Bill’s eyebrow quirked in surprise at the question that almost sounded like a faint whisper. “Kiss?” Such a strange thing to ask someone you have barely met but Bill was all for strange things and teasing, can’t forget teasing.

“So little Dipper wants to kiss a god huh?” Bill blinked slowly at the other with a half hearted smirk on his lips. “You’re fresh out of luck kid. I don’t kiss people in this disgusting body. Humans are too fragile and emotions are… gross. Kissing you would be subjecting myself to feel for you.” That wasn’t necessarily true, Bill had known that humans possess the ability to kiss and never love but there was no way he was taking his chances. Not now.

“As far as I know you’re not really a god especially in your condition…” Dipper tried to defend himself with the slight joke but words felt really weird to his mouth right now. He was more so concerned about his body’s reaction to this person barely illuminated by the soft flicker of the quiet TV. No one had ever been that close to him, no one has ever leaned their head against his chest like that, and no one has certainly made him blurt out such a stupid request.

“Kid I’m not even trying to get you all over me and you’re acting as if you’ve just met your “soulmate”.” The blonde’s yellow tinted eyes seemed to spark with a hint of an idea and he leaned back so he was only straddling Dipper, snatching up the remote from the coffee table. “See this magic box of information? I’m sure humans gain lots of knowledge from this. Take a note-” Bill flipped through the channels to the several late night soap operas currently playing on obscure channels and he began, “Love is disappointment. It is pain, commitment for life, and drains the human soul of all it’s good taste. Once you’re bound to one person you’re never going back or else you have the chance of loneliness. I would only leave you in loneliness Dipper and that’s probably how love is going to turn out for everyone. Sure there are people with their happy endings but honestly, who has happy endings anymore?” He lowered the remote and glanced back to the other. “Mortality is the only gift humans were given in the end, the right to finally be rid of that commitment. It’s so tragic and frankly funny how you humans glorify getting together and dying old.”

Dipper’s back was wracked with shudders as Bill spoke. It was creepy how sincere he sounded about such a depressing explanation. “But you’re also wrong in quite a few ways-” He started, clearing his throat so his voice would stop faltering from embarrassment. “See I’ve never been in a relationship and even I know that. Commitment only sucks if you’re stuck with the wrong person or something like that. I’m not sure how to describe it but love isn’t an emotion. It’s something behind the scenes that just fits two together. A charm holds them together for eternity-”

“-Eternity being your lifespan which does not last an eternity.”

“But it would be eternity for myself.” He countered with a brief smile. “I think that everyone has someone out there for them! And you too probably have someone waiting for you in the vast-” Right when he was going to go on some long speech about love or another boring human emotion topic, Bill stuffed a pizza slice in Dipper’s mouth promptly shutting him up.

“I don’t really care, anything that has power beyond pinky promises and handshakes is dangerous and shouldn’t be trusted especially for a Cipher like me. I think it’s probably time you should go now anyways. I’m sure a child like you has curfew or something by now right?”

“I’m nineteen years old!” He tried to speak around the pizza but it just came out as a muffled grumble. How could he ever think he’d change someone like Bill, people like him were never willing to listen. Rude. Dipper removed the cheese slice from his mouth and returned to the last subject that needed to be addressed in the first place. “So how are you going to pay me Mr. Never Found the Need to Work?”

Bill shuffled in his blanket with an uncomfortable frown. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” He breathed which Dipper barely caught before the blonde was leaning down, lips brushing against his own in a strange feeling of passion and heat. While it did feel good it was almost over as soon as it started leaving him to be stunned in silence.

“I-I’m afraid that’s not really payment-” Dipper murmured, refusing eye contact with the irises staring him down eerily.

Bill puffed out his cheeks and hissed a reply, “Don’t tell me you’re greedy and want more.”

“No no- it’s just I can’t really go up to my boss tomorrow and give him a kiss saying that’s the payment for the $200 worth of pizza Bill! I need real money or else I’m going to get fired.”

“Not my problem.” The blonde blinked idly and stood from the couch stretching.

“Of course it’s your problem! You bought twenty fucking pizzas and don’t even care about how much work went into it!”

“It’s literal junk food, how much is that really supposed to cost. We just went over this a few minutes ago, Pine Tree.”

“How about this, you can come work with me at the store and pay off your debts. I won’t get fired and if you do a good enough job you might have a permanent job. If you don’t have a job I’m surprised you can even afford this house honestly.”

The last comment sent a twinge of annoyance through Bill at Dipper’s nosiness, “You’re awfully curious kid, it’ll kill you if you don’t keep it in check.” But regardless, he fixed his composure and held out his hand. “Fine, it’s a deal. In return you need to help me understand this world, got it?”

Smiling, Dipper shook the outstretched hand that had a strange icy feel to it rather than the normal body heat he knew from the blonde. “Anything for a friend.”

“We’re not friends.” Bill huffed, roughly taking his hand back to get up and switch off the tv then turn on the lights. “Goodbye kid, it was nice knowing you, you know the way out.” He tilted his head in the mentioned direction then disappeared down the dark hallway.

Dipper’s run down car never felt so inviting once he was in and relaxing after such a strange run in. How was he going to explain this to his family? Hey Mabel I’ve got the hots for someone I just met. Grunkle Stan this crazy guy ordered 20 pizzas and then we watched TV together. “Define watched.” the little voice in his head chimed in. True they didn’t really watch anything.

He would have to deal with it later, sleep was really starting to take a toll on his body and driving in the dark when tired is almost like driving buzzed, not a good combination. “Shit- Mabel!” Dipper yelped and pulled out his phone, eyeing the piece of paper that tumbled out with his phone. “What the hell?” He muttered, unfolding the paper with a scrawled phone number and a message.

Thanks for helping me Dipper,  
For a human you’re pretty okay.

\- △

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters update every Sunday


End file.
